Mine vs. Theirs: The Secret to Healthy Money & Responsibility Boundaries

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to take on other people’s responsibilities? A co-worker misses a deadline, and you step in. A family member makes a financial mistake, and you feel pressure to cover it. Over time, your own jar gets crowded with items that don’t even belong to you.

The Jars We Carry
Think of responsibilities like jars. Each person has their own jar to manage — their bills, their choices, their follow-through. The problem comes when we start placing items that belong in their jar into ours. Slowly but surely, your jar fills up with weight that isn’t yours to carry.

Why We Do It

• We want to be helpful.

• We feel guilty saying no.

• We believe if we don’t fix it, no one will.

But here’s the problem: when your jar is packed with everyone else’s stuff, you don’t have room for your own. Your energy, time, and even money get drained.

Financial Boundaries Matter
One of the hardest items to stop moving into your jar is the financial kind. Maybe it looks like constantly covering a friend’s meals, bailing out a sibling who overspent, or loaning money you can’t afford to lose. Financial boundaries protect not just your bank account, but your peace of mind. It’s not unkind to say, “I can’t take this on.” In fact, it gives the other person the opportunity to learn, grow, and take responsibility for their own jar.

Healthy Boundaries
Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you stop caring. It means you stop putting items into your jar that don’t belong there. You might offer advice, encouragement, or resources — but you let people keep their own jar intact.

A Practical Step:
Next time someone asks you to take on something that isn’t yours, pause and ask: Does this belong in my jar, or theirs? If it’s theirs, kindly place it back.

Life gets a lot lighter when your jar only holds what belongs to you. Protect your energy, your time, and your finances — so you can show up fully for the things that are truly yours to manage.